A sigh of relief.....

Maybe you have noticed I have been distracted lately or avoiding talking about my baby. Well it's because I went a little crazy. Well not really crazy, but a little blue.

At my 20 week ultrasound they found something (which I was told multiple times occurs 5% of the time and almost always means absolutely nothing). There was a shadow on the baby's heart, called an echogenic focus. It usually resolves within a few weeks. The plan was for me to come back to my ob's office and get another ultrasound this Wednesday (which I probably need to cancel that appointment).

Ok no big deal. Graig and I were aware of it, but I didn't freak out at that point. We did, however, hold off on any sort of baby planning. We just wanted to find the results out first. It sounds really stupid now because the guest room needs to be cleaned out no mater what, but we were having none of it. I didn't really tell many people about it, because most likely it was going to be fine. After having one sick baby, I didn't want to make a big deal about it because most likely he is fine. Plus talking about it wasn't going to make me feel better....just praying and waiting for my next appointment was all I wanted to do.

Then I got a call telling me about my appointment at a specialized location where they deal with genetic disorders and fetal abnormalities. So that's when I started to get really concerned. Even though I eventually called my doctor's office back to discuss why they changed the appointment. Is it just to have the most qualified person look at it or did they go back to the images and see something more that is alarming. It was the first if you were wondering.

Then I did what NO ONE SHOULD EVER DO. DO NOT GOOGLE THINGS! I swear nothing good comes from it. People call me all the time, or even worse they come in and talk to me in person with the craziest things they read on the internet. One of my childhood friends is a veterinarian. Her best story so far is "Ah yes, the internet informed one of my clients that breeding dogs together from the same litter passes on the best genes!"

But the seed was there and I had to look. I just thought there would be something wrong with the heart. But no, the magical internet informed me it is a sign of Down's Syndrome. Now that got to my core. Oh yeah and did I mention that I was doing this research at night while Graig was at church playing basketball? Stupid idea.

Anyway I was having a hard time digesting all of this. I know that's a child's health is not guaranteed, but I was very anxious to go to this appointment. Anyway I'm not going to go into those emotions.

My parents drove down to take care of Jeremy today while Graig and I went to the appointment. I had to sit in the waiting room for awhile waiting for my appointments. First was the genetic counselor (uhm can we just get to the ultrasound already?). But she was very helpful and put me at ease with my risks and such. Also she told me of other signs they would be looking for as far as Down's Syndrome. She also told me to not expect the ultrasound technician to tell me of the "problems" that the doctor will come in and discuss them. That was helpful because I would have not left the poor lady alone.

So then I had the ultrasound and the baby is still head down and covering his face(I said it was his only defense against his brother attacking my belly). That meant we weren't going to look at the heart first. Hopefully we can get him to turn (which it didn't happen). Anyway I have the coolest picture of the baby giving a thumbs up. I swear I can not make that up. If only my scanner wasn't so stupid I would post it. I do not remember what she said, but at the end of the ultrasound it was something like "everything looks good."

I finally could relax. Then the doctor came in for the fastest 80 second appointment. His first words were your baby is fine. He explained that this shows up in 5% of caucasians but 30% of asain people's ultrasounds. Then he told me good luck with the rest of the pregnancy and the delivery (hopefully better than with Jeremy). And we were done. Awesome.